It’s a match! The current state of dating in a post-digital world
We are living in a world where everything in our lives is ingulfed by technology. Gone are the days where us as humans and technology were on different sides of a spectrum. Today technology has a huge impact on everything from the cultural zeitgeist to our relationships with the people around us. The post digital era we find ourselves in currently explains the way that digital media and technology are embedded in our everyday lives (Berry 2015:45). The effect of the Covid-19 pandemic has led to the exponential and rapid growth of technology and has only added even more complexity and nuances to our relationships. The post digital state we are in, particularly with the prevalence of social media and dating apps has positive and negative effects on our relationships. The isolation felt by many made digital platforms the way to go to communicate to other humans. A paradigm shift happened where people moved from in life relationships into the digital ones. Although technology has its benefits, it has had real adverse effects on many. This short essay will try to work out what effects the post digital world has had on the modern relationship between human beings.
What is post digital?
The term ‘post digital’ is quite an ambiguous term to define. To better grasp the concept of post digital, it's useful to define it in a more practical and relatable way within the context of everyday culture and informal language. Unlike postmodernism, the use of the prefix 'post' in 'post-digital' doesn't carry the same meaning. The post prefix should rather be seen as a continuation and a mutation of technology infiltrating our lives (Cramer 2014:13). According to Contreras-Koterbay & Mirocha (2016:39), “The term does not describe an era which is no longer formed by the presence of computational technologies.” Post-digital rather emphasises the fact that the ‘digital revolution’ is over. It describes that the latest advancements in networks, ubiquitous computing and digital technologies are embedded in our lives and environments.
Post digital suggests that we've moved beyond the fascination with the mere presence of digital technology to a phase where it's seamlessly integrated into our existence, and we are more concerned with its impact on our lives, society, and culture. People begin to critically assess the implications of digital technology. This involves considering issues like privacy, data security, the influence of social media, and the impact on our mental well-being. Also, post-digital doesn't mean the end of the analogue or physical world. Instead, it's a blending of digital and analogue elements, creating hybrid realities where physical and virtual experiences coexist (Cramer 2014:20-21). Although, not physically possible to be disembodied. We are stuck in a void between having embodied experiences in the real world and disembodied experiences digitally. The hybrid reality we are living in has had great impacts on us and our interactions with other people.
Post digital intimacies and relationships
One could argue that we have been in a post digital state for several years now, but due to the Covid-19 pandemic we are fully and seamlessly immersed in digital technologies. The COVID-19 pandemic has represented a significant and pivotal moment in history when it comes to the adoption of technology. This crisis has rapidly sped up the transition towards digitalisation, marking a distinct paradigm shift. (Viola 2023:6). During the peak of Covid-19 during lockdowns, people felt a strong sense of isolation and loneliness. This led to a dramatic increase in the popularity of dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge. Tinder, probably the biggest of the dating app platforms admitted that 2020 was their biggest year in terms of users (Trozenski 2022). In recent times, the widespread use of dating apps has played a significant role in making digitally facilitated forms of intimacy increasingly accepted and prevalent, particularly among young urban populations (Bandinelli & Gandini 2022:425). Currently there is also no signs that the world of online dating is going away anytime soon.
Dating apps have led to never-before-seen connection and interaction between strangers for being potential partners. However, there is a paradoxical element to the hyper connectedness that these apps present. Due to the overwhelming nature of dating apps, where there seems to be countless potential matches, and the unnerving nature of algorithms, many still feel lost in a digital wasteland. Dating apps can often lead to frustration because they frequently fail to fulfil their somewhat exaggerated commitment to simplify the complexities of romantic relationships (Bandinelli 2022:911). All these dating apps seemingly wants people to connect, but in fact it is essentially dehumanising the dating world.
Tinder's algorithm for example restricts users, making it challenging for their profiles to be noticed by others, unless they opt for additional exposure through payment. The success of dating apps isn't solely determined by user preferences but also relies on the calculations made by its algorithm, which assess the likelihood of receiving a like. Normally based on physical appearance. A noteworthy aspect is that, among every 100 Tinder users, only 2 out of 7 men can successfully match with a woman, underscoring the uneven and unfavourable gender ratio within the application (Smith 2023). All these factors make people even more isolated and frustrated. The endless sea of the digital has made us aware of its shortcomings.
Dating apps now dominate the realm of dating by shaping it through their features and giving the impression of being indispensable. Dating apps have effectively taken control of the dating landscape. Dating apps also promote an ideology of making love safe, efficient, free from the complexities of physical romance. This type of love aims to avoid the distressing aspects of romantic entanglements, such as emotional turmoil, dramatic situations, and the anguish of solitude. It can be referred to as post romantic, a form of love that follows the era of more modern romantic ideals (Bandinelli 2022:916). Although promoting this sort of post romantic love, in the digital landscape it has led people stuck in limbo.
The yearning for physical, embodied experiences when it comes to love is mixed with the disembodied experiences of “feeling” love on a digital screen. Dating apps can make people feel disoriented in the post-digital by overwhelming them with choices and superficial interactions, leaving them disconnected from genuine, meaningful connections and unsure about navigating traditional dating scenarios. Having technology and the digital fully immersed in our environments has positive impacts on a lot of factors such as efficiency and interconnectedness. However, there is real shortcomings to technology and being in a post digital state, and we are only facing that reality now. Younger generations in terms of dating and love feel isolated and frustrated. The post digital and post romantic seems to be the main driver of this, and leads us into further dismay.
Bibliography
Bandinelli, C & Gandini, A. 2022. Dating Apps: The Uncertainty of Marketised Love. Cultural Sociology 16(3):423-441.
Bandinelli, C. 2022. Dating apps: towards post-romantic love in digital societies. International Journal of Cultural Policy 28(7):905-919.
Berry, DM. 2015. The Postdigital Constellation, in Postdigital Aesthetics: Art, Computation and Design edited by DM Berry and M Dieter. London: Palgrave Macmillan:44-57.
Contreras-Koterbay, S & Mirocha, L. 2016. The New Aesthetic and art: Constellations of the postdigital. Amsterdam: Institute of Network Cultures:15-42 (Letting go: New Aesthetic Artists and the New Aesthetic art that works).
Cramer, F. 2014. WHAT IS ‘POST-DIGITAL’?. APRJA 3(1):11-24.
Smith, B. 2023. TINDER 2023 Algorithm Explained. [O]. Available: https://eightify.app/summary/online-business-and-entrepreneurship/tinder-2023-algorithm-explained-how-it-works. Accessed 6 September 2023.
Trozenski. A. 2023. The Changing Spaces of Dating Apps since COVID-19. [O]. Available: https://www.vanderbilt.edu/digitalhumanities/the-changing-spaces-of-dating-apps-since-covid-19/. Accessed 6 September 2023.